Oh hey, I’m at home again.
With the events that transpired yesterday, I just could not deal with everything today. I say that a lot, don’t I? But whatever, it’s true, I kind of fail at dealing with things.
I think it’s gotten to a point where everything I do seems forced, or too well thought over, something that has to be processed over and over to for me to be comfortable to actually do, and then when I do do it, then I second guess myself all over again.
Hey guys, I’m not antisocial. Just shy.
I’m kind of realizing more and more that I’m really not a people person. If you do manage to become my friend, good for you, just have fun having me cling to you for a while.
I’m not a quick thinker. I’m not someone that can make an entire table of diners listen to me because I’m telling a funny story. I’m not someone to randomly say something to the person next to me just because. I can’t hold a conversation long.
And I really, really, shouldn’t be so negative. I think if I were less negative, then my life would be much better. Funny how that works, huh?
I dunno, I just…I guess I just am a controlling person. I freak out over everything. And you know what? I wish that I could just spill to someone, but I can’t, because of factors and the fact that I hate bitching about my really pretty-okay life to someone, because to me that’s weak. I can’t do it. I can’t ask for advice, either, I can’t just decide to follow someone’s advice, I can’t just turn off my feelings. I can’t just do an entire 360 and erase feelings. I can’t. And that sucks.
God, I hate this. But you know what I hate more? I hate people who pretend that problems don’t exist.
