Hello, world!
Anyway, Project Phenomenal Summer has kind of been a bust. I haven’t really done anything.
Things I want to do this summer:
- Ride my bike.
- With my boyfriend
- With my friends (bike gang fosho) - Go to the Saturday Market (I’ve done this many times…but Saturday Market in the summer is vastly different than during the Spring!)
- Reconnect with an old friend…or friends.
- Should I feel guilty if I know exactly who I want to talk to again? - Bare my soul with someone in an open field.
- GO TO THE BEACH.
- I accidently hit caps lock, which is why its in caps.
Anyway.
I feel like I need to make some changes around here. Can I count how many times I’ve disappointed myself for making these amazing plans, plans of change and magic and junk, and it never comes through? I’ve been realizing that no matter how much I dream (which has been a lot) things don’t just happen because you want them to. I need to do something, but I think I’m too cowardly to actually take action.
What kind of person am I? In middle school, for some twisted reason, I was the cute one, the strong one, the…the what? The “perfect” one. I wonder what kind of delusions they were under. Back then, and even now, I’m just a clueless chick who doesn’t like to think past next week. I’m scared to change things, I’m just fine to settle with “Good enough.” but am I really? I wouldn’t be having these thoughts if I were.
Maybe its just a phase. It kills me how even I don’t know my own habits.
MEH. Whatever. Isn’t summer supposed to be about being careless and just relaxing? So why am I freaking out about things more than ever?
